Back in the day when I would get stuck in loops in my head I would write letters I’d never send. I have documents on my computer that are pages long, written to people I admired. I’d mainly go in circles about being lonely, confused, and directionless. I’d tell them my craziest goals and dreams. Things I was afraid to say out loud or to anyone I really knew because they seemed so outlandish and impossible. I suppose it was a form of self soothing. It was a way for me to talk kindly to myself. I found this today and it made me both sad and inspired.
December 30th, 2016
…What I need this year is to be good to myself. I need to make this the year of getting well.
You can do this. You had a really rough year but you made it. You will hit low low points again, but know that they are temporary. This is where you bring your strength. You complete everything you start…you will do this. You will be okay.
And I was. And I am.