I’m sitting at a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf this morning. Coffee shops are my uppers. Honestly, when I feel shitty I instantly feel a little better with my computer, a cup of coffee, and a comfy chair. What am I doing you might ask? Well, I took the day off. I have a psych appointment at 1:30 and in the mean time I’m job hunting and applying. This is 100% a better use of my time than stressing at work. You may not agree. You may think I’m being lazy or irresponsible, but to that I say I am simply chasing something better. I don’t know what it is…but I know I won’t find it at work today. Am I feeling guilty? You bet. Am I feeling nervous about returning to work tomorrow to 1 million emails, angry customers, and the need for a valid excuse to tell my boss? Indeed. I can’t think about tomorrow. I seriously feel like I’m going to have a heart attack when I do. My heart tightens, I lose my breath, and my stomach drops. What is wrong with me?
When I feel like this you know what I like to do? Think about aliens. I even watch alien documentaries. Why? Because it makes all these stupid problems seem so small and unimportant. Just thinking about the universe(s) can calm me down. This life is just a dot. So small.
So I’ll leave it at that. I have a lot to work on today.