The Spazzy Cyclist

I am awkward, but today I took it to a new level. I’m going to Burning Man in a few weeks so I’m prepping for that adventure, which means acquiring all the things needed for a week in the desert. The big thing on my list was a bicycle. I’d surfed the sketchy pages of craigslist and while I found several potentials, I was always too afraid to go to the place myself to pick something up from a stranger. Yes, I still operate under the rules of “Stranger Danger”.

Today I went and checked out a used bike shop to find my transportation. I got a cute bike with a basket for under $100 which was my max budget. Now, here is where I get super awkward. You know how people say, “it’s just like riding a bike!”? Well my friend, that must be code for the athletically inclined. Ready to ride into the sunset with my new purchase, I masterfully perched myself on the faded but comfy seat (this entire sentence should read “I hesitantly threw one leg over my new bike, smacked my shin on the pedal, and caught myself just shy of landing on a child.”) As I shakily zigzagged out of the parking lot the sales guy hollered out, “Have you ever ridden before?” Not in the least bit insulted, because let’s be real I was a mess on 2 wheels, I replied, “No, but I’ll figure it out!” If I’d been more capable, I would have lifted one hand off the handlebar to wave and say thank you, but it was taking all my concentration just to stay upright. I walked my bike the rest of the way home and have decided I will just wait for the desert to teach me how to ride. It will be my primary mode of transportation, so I won’t really have a choice then.

Here I am after my spazzy trip home with my trusty companion, who was probably destined for greater adventures with a more competent rider.


-Amy Uncharted

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