Tiny Mouth Saved My Life!

I think it’s safe to say I’ve severely neglected this blog. What can I say? Life has kind of taken over with the job and the moving and just trying to stay upright.

The job. It’s good. Monotonous but good. I should be hired on as more than a temp by the 26th so yay! job stability.

Living. I’m settled into that all vegetarian house and it’s been good so far. I finally got a bed. A real big girl bed. I’ve been sleeping on a roll up for probably the last few years. It was time to adult.

Something I’ve noticed in my new place though is that I eat like shit. I’m painfully aware of it because everyone here eats like angels. Fresh produce. Nightly, fully prepared dinners, and organized pantry filled with beans and grains. It’s time to get healthy for real. I’ve been awful for years now. I stopped eating well…well, doing anything good for my body, after I ran a marathon back in 2014 (I think that’s when it was). I think I burned out. Breaking up with Sondra didn’t help the situation either since I’m a depressive eater and it’s just gotten out of control since then. Now, after years of trashing my being, my hair is falling out like crazy, my nails break if I just look at them, and I’m constantly tired, relying on coffee a few times throughout the day just to maintain a chipper and awake life.

I tend to go all in or not at all. Treating my body well needs to become a lifestyle change, not a whoa! here we go cold turkey off of all my junk foods and start running 5 miles a day. I think I’m going to start by stopping at the farmer’s market on Sunday and picking something out for a nice meal. There is this yummy pot pie stuffed into peppers that Mamrie Hart made that I might try tomorrow.

Speeaakking of Mamrie Hart. Good segue self *pats self on back* I met her. I went to her show and IΒ met her.Β To say my life has been made would be an extreme understatement. Honestly, I do feel as if I could die happy now. I went into it a bit on my instagram and facebook as to why this person is so important to me and how she has absolutely changed my life. But let me regale it here as well.

*ahem* 2016 was rough. And I brought it entirely upon myself. I’d decided that stopping my medication abruptly was a good plan. I hated (still hate) that shit. “Who am I without the meds?”Β  I would ask myself. My response was always I’m a depressed and anxious mess and if I can’t live without them then I don’t want to live at all. It’s always been my argument that depression weeds out those too weak to survive in this world. Maybe it’s population control. If depression didn’t take as many people as it does we’d be even more overpopulated. All back on medication my brain understands how depressing and wrong this belief is, but it’s where I go when life sucks.

Annnnywways…New Year’s Eve was set to be an awful day. It would be the first one I’d spend alone. I didn’t know what to do. I was bored and sad. I spent the day in bed. But I wasn’t sad as I’d planned I would be. I found Mamrie Hart’s “You Deserve a Drink” youtube channel again. I’d watched a few in the past, but that day I watched them all. Then I moved to “Mametown” her other channel. And then onto Camp Takota and Dirty 30, the movies she wrote and acted in. I remember losing track of time because I was laughing so hard. I didn’t even know it, but the New Year had begun. It was 12:30 am and I made it through my first NYE stag. I honestly owe my life to Mamrie Hart. The next morning I woke up, still depressed (remember I’m lacking my happy pills), but I remembered the night before. How good it felt to laugh. I told myself I could choose to be happy. I looked in the mirror, literally said “What are you going to choose?” and promptly started up the medication again. I hated myself for it, but I promised I’d give myself one year of consistent medication. I’d take it without thinking about it. I would take care of myself. And I did. I did it for a year and haven’t stopped.

I wrote Mamrie a fan letter because I do feel so grateful for her part in my “recovery”. It was a page long and I was so afraid to give it to her. I walked up to her during the meet and greet. She gave me two great big hugs and complimented my Camp Takota sweatshirt. I shyly asked if I could get a picture with Tiny Mouth (one of the best characters she does) “Tiny Mouth saved my life” I said. I meant that seriously, but she wouldn’t understand until she read the letter. “Oh my god I need that put on a T-shirt! Tiny Mouth Saved My Life!” After we took several pictures I mumbled “I know this is nerdy, but I wrote you a letter.” She looked me dead in the eye, with complete seriousness and sincerity and said “That is not nerdy at all, it is so considerate and shows you care. Thank you so much!” She hugged me and sent me off with “Oh! You smell great! Like honey suckle!” This sounds like such a weird compliment, but it sent me flying. Mamrie thinks I smell good!!!!

Best night of my life and I’m not exaggerating. This overrides any interaction I’ve had with any person I admire. I love the picture of Tiny Mouth and me laughing my face off. It’s not flattering, but it’s the epitome of what Mamrie has done for me. Put a smile on my face.

Watch tiny mouth here:

–Β π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

Working and Living

My job has been keeping me busy. I’ve had very little time to blog…obvs. Life in the work realm has been going pretty well. It’s a bit mindless. I just enter in orders…all day. It’s not entirely bad though. It’s an office job. There isn’t a dress code. WIN! Health benefits are free. There is a rooftop eating area that looks at the city. The company buys lunch for employees once a month…and vegan offerings are available. And fresh brewed coffee is provided in the mornings.

It’s a bit strange though. I’ve never worked in a job where there is so much independence. I don’t have to tell anyone if I’m going to go to the bathroom. I can take my breaks early or late or whenever I want. No one cares what I wear and right now (until I’m trained on phones) I don’t have to talk to anyone. This. Is. An. Introvert’s. Dream. I really am going to have to work to make friends here though. I tend to keep to myself at lunches. Rarely do I eat because I’m just too nervous around people I don’t know. This should change once I’m more comfortable with the environment, but for now it’s just how it is. People seem friendly, and I’ve had brief conversations with people where they introduce themselves and I immediately forget their name. Literally the worst thing about anxiety. When people introduce themselves I’m usually having a conversation in my own head about how awkward I must be right now. Am I sitting weird? Smiling too much? Making uncomfortable eye contact!? Before ya know it the conversation is over and I have no clue what they said. Fun stuff.

The apartment hunt: I believe it’s over. I found this place in Santa Monica. It’s a room in a 4 bedroom house with a cool group of people. It’s a purely vegetarian household which is pretty awesome, 15 minutes from the beach, and close to work. Everyone there does yoga and meditates on the daily. I think it will be a good environment to be in. Living with other people is 1000% outside of my comfort zone, but I feel like it could be aΒ reallyΒ good set up if I just let it be. Anyways, so it all hinges on WillyBean right now. I’m bringing him by tomorrow to see how he does with the 2 small dogs that are there. They were super sweet when I met them and don’t think there will be any issues. After all that’s sorted out I can move in asap. Also nice. It’s a 3 month lease situation. I feel so much more comfortable with this knowing that it’s not a year long commitment, and who knows, maybe I’ll want to stay forever.

So things are coming together. Slowly but surely. Also, I say slowly, but I need to back myself up here and realize that I’ve been here just over a month and already have a decent job and am on my way to solidifying a living situation. Not too bad.

Side note: Mamrie Hart likedΒ another one of my instagram comments. We are pretty much best friends now, as I will have 5 copies of her new book by the time her book tour is over. I’m thinking of doing an instagram giveaway for the extra books I’ll have.

OH YEAH! I alsoΒ didΒ end up winning the print of Mamrie’s life motto! And *blush* I also signed up forΒ another giveaway to win a pin of her super cute dog Beanz.

be4e48fbb4d6e0172ee392a7c906a6adWhat a god damn magical creature.

Well, I think that’s my weekly update. Tomorrow is the next Emilie Autumn meetup, so I might be back to give you all the deets on that. I know you’ll be dying to hear πŸ˜›

–Β π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

 

Trans Lifeline

One of my New Year’s resolutions was to donate $20 every month to a different organization. This month I chose Trans Lifeline. It is a non profit that runs a supportive hotline specifically for the trans community. I will admit that, as a cisgender lesbian, I amΒ not fully competent on trans issues, nor have I been a big contributor in the past. What I can say is I’ve had several trans friends who have struggled with discrimination not only from straight folks and their families, but also from the gay population. On top of that, depression runs rampant through the transgender community.

I read on the Trans Lifeline website that “transgender people are 22 more times likely to attempt suicide than the general population”. This made me so incredibly sad. I’m so glad that an organization like Trans Lifeline, which is run for trans people by trans people, exists. Right now they only offer services for 18 hours a day 7 days a week due to funding, though they are working on operating 24/7. I know my wimpy $25 donation doesn’t do a whole lot. Several small donations add up though. I encourage everyone to go check out the Trans Lifeline website and make a donation if you can. I plan on continuing educating myself and others on these issues. I have a few books on my reading list for this year. Check out this list of 21 Must-Read Books covering a number of transgender issuesΒ (link)Β And remember to support your trans friends. Hug them, tell them you love them. They may not be getting that support from their families or communities.

Go check out the Trans Lifeline website atΒ http://www.translifeline.org/

Did I miss anything here? Let me know if you have anything to say about Trans Lifeline or have any information I should include in this post.

π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

Getting Creative

My passion is starting to take a little shape. When I was in college I was part of the Evanescence street team. We (pretty much me) would go around putting up fliers and handing out stickers to anyone that would take them. I loved it so much. I wrote college papers about Evanescence, traveled to a number of shows both in and out of state, and overall just wouldn’t shut up about them. Wouldn’t it be great if I could be part of another street team? I know you don’t really get paid to do this, but maybe it could lead to some kind of promoting gig?

These are just my morning thoughts. I’m going to try to go to more concerts. One of the New Year’s resolutions was to go to 6 concerts. I’m going to drastically up that number. I really should go to a show about twice a month. This will let me scope out the music scene here and see if there is a need for street teams or promoters at a grassroots level. I love it. Going to concerts as research πŸ˜›

This is where I go off on a bit of a tangent, but it’s related to music sort of. I use to beΒ reallyΒ creative. LikeΒ really.Β I was reminded yesterday of the time I made my own crystal ball as a kid using a piece of paper that I’d drawn “divinations” on and wrapping it around a flash light. And later in life, I use to paint. I use to draw. I use to sew.

I guess I was reminded of these later in life creations because I found my old photobucket account. Here’s what I had in there:

bibleartThis was a series I did of Bible art. I had several bibles that were handed out on campus as a converting tool from your friendly local Christians. I would rip them up (blasphemous I know), decoupage, and paint. I had 2 others in this series, but apparently didn’t save them to photobucket. I rather like this one though. When I left Wisconsin I literally put all my art in the garbage can and left. Years of drawings/paintings/random crafts, they all sit in a landfill somewhere in the Midwest. Really regret that.Β JadeMeet Jade. This was my alter ego back in the day. Not all light and positive like AmyUncharted is today. I had a whole backstory though. I would usually dress like her to Evanescence shows and would write stories and draw pictures of her constantly. One of my roommates in college was a photographer and she did a whole series on Jade. Again, this is the only photo I have.Β vkabloomerbrigade009

This is me as a member of Emilie Autumn’s bloomer brigade. I made this entire outfit (all but skirt and shoes) in preparation for her first US show in New York. I tea dyed the shirt and sewed on the red heart (Emilie’s signature), made the cape and rat cameo choker, poorly sewed those red bloomers, and again tea dyed and sewed the rat bag that Emilie later signed. I was also a member of the US chapter of Veronica’s Kissing Army so I made a badge for that too. Later, I was pulled on stage in front of hundreds of fans to kiss Veronica herself. Yes,Β IΒ did that. Proof

So, I guess what I’m saying is if my passion is indeed setting up meetups, creating community, and being involved in music, they are all very creative things. I want to get back to my creative roots. Start making art again, start thinking more whimsically, start using what’s inside of me. I’ve felt very dull recently, but I know that creativity is bubbling just at the surface. I feel it coming back and I’m excited to put it to good use.

–Β Β π’œπ“‚π“Žπ’°π“ƒπ’Έπ’½π’Άπ“‡π“‰π‘’π’Ή

Just Your Regular Update

Okay, so I’m feeling a bit better today about the job. It’s not my passion and that’s okay. I can find my passion elsewhere. For example, in the meetups I’m planning. On February 4th the Emilie Autumn meetup will take place. I’m so excited to meet some other plague rats and work on the puzzles with them. On the 11th of February will be the Orphan Black meetup. There is already so much interest that I’m sure another will be planned after this. All that is good.

I’m ready to hustle hard at this job. My plan is to pick up as many hours as possible. The interviewer said there are lots of opportunities for overtime and I plan on taking full advantage of that. *sings* Money money money money moooooney…MONEY! I’d like to get a chunk of savings started. I’ve never been able to save, and I don’t really know why I think I will be able to save now, but I’m feeling oddly confident.

I start work on the 30th so I’m trying to soak up all the weather and activities I can. Today, I’m sitting in the sun again, at a coffee shop. This is my favorite thing. I love the palm trees, the weather, everything. Overall, LA is agreeing with me quite well.

π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

Show me the Money

I had an interview today (and was offered the position) for data entry at a pharmaceutical company. It’s not an ideal situation. It’s basically a call center in a basement, but they pay more than the tennis club. So, here I am, following the money. I think I’m going to take the position, but keep looking for jobs.

*sigh* This isn’t exactly what I envisioned working in LA would be like. But, I’m going to hustle, do what I gotta do, and keep my eyes on a better future. Now that I have a job it’s time to really focus on finding an apartment. Other downside to this place is it’s kind of far from where I wanted to live. Oh well. Again, I’m going to do what I’ve got to do and act with passion each day. Upside? It’s a 9-5 Monday thru Friday. Meaning, I can still make it to all my meetups and Mamrie Hart book tour.

Anyways, I’m feeling a mix of emotions from excited (yay! I finally have a job, soΒ someoneΒ might rent me an apartment) to hopeless (boo! this job may totally suck).

Positive words for today? Practice Reckless Optimism. Find hope in the hopeless. Hannah Hart quote and a philosophy I try to live by.

“reckless optimism” means appreciating what you have, seeing opportunities where before you might have only seen a downside and taking chances. -theodysseyonline.com

You can read the whole article on Reckless Optimism by clicking here

π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

 

 

Bawse Fail

Yesterday I went to the Women’s March. The Universe threw something at me that I wasn’t expecting. For about the last year, the center of my vision board has contained a picture of Lilly Singh. The way she lives her life inspires me every freakin’ day. Her work ethic is just….goals. I’ve read her book “How to be a Bawse” three times. Literally every day I wake up I think “How can I be a Bawse today?” My lock screen on my phone is “Keep Calm and Be A Bawse”…my computer wallpaper simply says “Bawse”. All this and the universe gave me an opportunity to quite literally meet THE BAWSE herself and I chickened out. As we were marching through the streets, I looked ahead and there she was, in her kick ass, hot pink “Girl Love” sweatshirt. My first gut instinct to go say hello propelled my feet forward and then I panicked and turned around. I’m kicking myself, but I’m also thinking that maybe it just wasn’t time yet. There will come a day when I will feel so bawse, there won’t be any doubt or hesitancy. I will walk up to Lilly and say “Hi, I’m Amy and I just wanted to say I really enjoy your book and vlogs. Thanks for being awesome.” I do think this was an absolute test from the Universe…one that I won’t fail next time. Until then, I’m going to continue growing and evolving into the Bawse I know I’m meant to be.

π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

Also here’s Lilly’s vlog from yesterday’s march:

<3 Mamrie Hart <3

Well hello. I just finished up my interview at the tennis club. Afterwards, I immediately took off the heels, dumped the blazer, and swapped them out for a flannel and some kicks. Ahhh feels good to be back.

Interview went well, but what IΒ reallyΒ want to talk about is my love for Mamrie Hart. She is this spectacularly hilarious comedian/actress/writer (everything amazing really) who will be doing a book tour in February. She wrote a book called “I’ve Got This Round” that comes out February 6th. She also wrote “You Deserve a Drink” and has a youtube channel named the same. I bought tickets to the book tour as well as 4 pre-ordered copies of the book. How did this happen you might ask?

1. I ordered the second it was available for pre-order last summer
2. I pre-ordered again, with my L.A. address because I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t have to wait for the book to be forwarded and such (I figured my parents can have the other copy (you’re welcome mom and dad!)
3. I bought tickets for the book tour and it came with a free book
4. She ran a giveaway where if you order this weekend and are one of the first 150 people, you get an epic print of her favorite saying: Fucking Prove It.

So anyways, when this giveaway was posted I commented on instagram. And….I’m fangirling…she commented back. Fucking prove it you say?

So, this really just set the mood for my morning. I walked into that interview with some pep in my step and a smile on my face. I think I answered all the questions splendidly and actually don’t really care if I get a call back or not. It really might not be my scene. Leaving this one up to the Universe.

That’s all for today. If you want to be cool like me and have a million copies of Mamrie’s new book, you can get it here:Β Mamriebook.comΒ and I HIGHLY recommend her Youtube channel.

Toodles,

π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

Truly Uncharted

*Large, drawn out, pathetic sigh* It’s a no go on yetΒ another apartment. That makes 3 places that I’ve filled out an application for and been denied. It’s moments like these that make me go “What the hell did I do?” This was probably NOT one of my better ideas. Ya know…picking up and moving without a job or an apartment, but I’m not to the point of regret yet. I feel more defeated than anything else. I’m losing motivation to even go view anymore. What’s the point? No one wants to rent to someone that is unemployed.

I have an interview tomorrow at the Los Angeles Tennis Club. I’m mildly freaking out. The woman I spoke with on the phone was incredibly nice, but I just felt so out of my element even speaking with her. She sounded very…ummm…rich. I applied for this job because I needed to meet my daily job application quota last week. (I typically apply for 2-3 jobs a day). I never expected to get a call back. The person I spoke with said what really stood out to her was my time at the animal hospital. She thought that made me an incredibly compassionate person and apparently that’s what they are looking for.

I guess I’m nervous because I feel like I’m going to be crossing class lines. This is where the rich go to relax, and I’m afraid I won’t fit in. Let me take you through the spiral of anxiety that my brain has been creating. Am I too poor to work in that kind of environment? What if I haven’t been brought up with the right manners to conduct myself appropriately in that type of setting? Should I paint my nails? Do my hands look weird? Do I really haveΒ to wear makeup?Β What about my clothes? Will they be able to tell this dress was $25 at Target!? And the million dollar question: What if I get the job?

Another thing adding to the job anxiety is that I spoke with the temp agency I interviewed with, and they are submitting me for a job at a law office. I’m afraid I will get offered the tennis club job (yes, I know I’m getting ahead of myself) without yet having the chance to interview for the other job.

No job. No apartment. There are just so many unknowns right now. I guess we reallyΒ areΒ in the middle of The Uncharted. Time to put on my big girl pants, chin up, and march right into it. See ya’ on the other side…hopefully.

π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

 

Emilie Autumn Meetup

themaid

Last Sunday was the Emilie Autumn Meetup. I’m not blogging this post for any reason except to have a documentation of the experience here. This is what I posted in the Striped Stocking Society Facebook group:

*This is a long ass post. I just want to preface by saying this doesn’t really give any info as to the contents of the meetup from a treasure hunt perspective. Just my own personal experience as someone who went to meet other plague rats.*
I know there have been a lot of people wondering about the meetup. I haven’t said anything because I don’t really know how to. I suck at writing and expressing myself in general (get ready for some massive grammar issues and run on sentences). I’m feeling super self conscious. :/ What’s more, I also have the WORST memory on the planet…no joke. I often feel too dumb for this place and the incredible story that Emilie has created. Hello insecurity!
Anyways, I want to be straight up here and tell you I went to the meetup less for the treasure hunt and more for the companionship of fellow plague rats, as I’ve had a really difficult time with the clues and puzzles. My brain just doesn’t work well. So this write up is coming from maybe a different perspective than others who were there. All that aside…the meetup was so well put together, and I’ve never experienced anything quite like it. It was performance art at it’s finest and I’m constantly amazed by Emilie’s creativity and devotion to her fans.
So when I got to the coffee shop, I wasn’t really sure where to meetup so I sat on one of the picnic tables outside until some other plague rats sat down. I was so nervous, but asked if they were here for the meetup and we chatted for a bit. It was a little after 6 when we were told we needed to be upstairs. Once upstairs we moved some tables together, and it wasn’t until I sat down, that I noticed the maid sitting at a table alone, writing on a piece of paper. We all were kind of unsure about what to do. Should we wait for her to interact with us? Or were we supposed to do something to get things started? Jasmine, a brave brave plague rat, walked to the table and sat down. Immediately, the maid crumpled up the paper she was writing on and shoved it in her apron.
Then began the process that we all took part in individually. I can only speak for my specific turn. I know there were pieces here and there that differed from plague rat to plague rat. I think I was about 3rd in the group take Emilie’s hand. She seemed to really like my necklace and touched and admired it before we sat down. When we sat down she wrote, asking my name. We held hands and she looked into my eyes, like she was trying so hard to communicate with me. This was an INTENSE moment. I’m not the greatest with eye contact, but it was so powerful to experience this. (Total side note: This moment alone reminded me of that Marina Abramovic β€˜A Minute of Silence’ piece.) There was then a stack of papers that were flipped through to communicate with us, and we nodded with understanding at each page.
Here is where I’m sorry friends. I can’t remember what was written. I know we were being watched. I know we are going to be contacted in a fortnight regarding our hunt for the treasure. I’m so sorry for my lack of info. I truly feel bad :/
The papers that were used for communication were left with all of us at the end of the night. We unbound the papers and each took a sheet, which I’m totally regretting now. I really wish we had someone write it all out before, so others could have read what we saw. It is my hope that we can post pictures of our page and piece it together online. I’ve posted mine in the pictures section…but it was a very minor page.
After everyone had their time with the maid she had us all hold hands. This was really special to me. This group is such a supportive place, and I often feel that those I interact with are right there next to me, helping me through life. It was nice to have this physical representation, this reminder that we are all in this together.
Annnnyways, a plague rat was then given the paper instructing her to count to 100. After handing this off, the maid ran down the stairs and out of the coffee shop. When 100 was up, we pieced together the note, took our sheets of paper and rosemary that she left behind, and took pictures of what we could. We then dispersed. I wish we had all kind of hung out a bit more πŸ˜› Β 
I do apologize this is so long, and gives so very little information that will further the hunt for treasure 😦 I hope others, with a better memory than I, will come forward with more info.
I encourage any plague rat that was there to share any info they have that would help everyone in the SSS participate in the hunt. I think we may have been given bits and pieces of different information that once we all come together and discuss, will show a bigger picture.
I really am sorry that everyone wasn’t able to attend. I have hope that more events like this will take place all over and more will be able to share in this experience.
It was really nice meeting some plague rats in person. I do enjoy this group and, though I really struggle with my memory and puzzles, have so loved this treasure hunt. I think you have all done a great job figuring out what you have. I certainly wouldn’t have made it to the event if it wasn’t for all your help with the coordinates. Β Β Β Β Β Β Β 
Thanks for making it through this novel of a post. Again, I apologize I don’t have any worthwhile info.
-Inmate W10C

Again, this is mainly here for documentation purposes. I don’t want to forget that night. All my interactions with Emilie have been so wonderful and I always like to keep record of each meeting.

π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

 

Just another update

I have a daily inspiration app on my phone. At 6:30 every morning, I get a text with a little word of encouragement, inspirational quote, or just words to think on. Today, I was told “Courage doesn’t mean we’re fearless–it means following our beliefs *despite* our fear. This week, flex your bravery Amy.” Cool right? I have followed my beliefs and passion right on here to California, and the fear.is.real. But here I am, living, moving, and making things happen! If you’re interested in the “daily shine” app check it out here. I highly recommend it!

I’ve applied for 4 more jobs since I last posted. Today, I had an interview at AppleOne (a temp agency I’ve worked with in the past). The interview went so much better than the one last week, and I’m feeling super hopeful that I will have a job within the next couple of weeks. *huzzah!*

And onto the apartment front. I haven’t heard anything from the place I submitted an application for on Sunday. Folks, I think it’s time to start looking for a roommate. More word on that later.

I swear, once I get these couple life parts figured out, this blog will take a different form. I feel like I haven’t been able to do much of anything. My reading has even taken a back seat! When I do get around to reading more, I will be updating my “2018 Books” page here. I need to get cracking on my “2018 Resolutions” page too, which can be found here. Help keep me accountable people!

Also, this is completely unrelated, but needs to be noted. This post was written outside a coffee shop, under a large umbrella, in 71 degree weather, in January. Thank you, that is all.

π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

 

LA Meetups

The last few days have been pretty successful. I met an Orphan Black fan IN PERSON! And she was awesome! It was great to freely geek out over the show. I specifically enjoyed our nerdy Cophine discussions. It was great meeting someone who is as into that ship as I am. *sigh* so refreshing.

Yesterday was the Emilie Autumn meetup. I have no words. Honestly, to try and verbalize the performance art that I experienced would be near impossible. No matter how many times I’ve met her in person, seen her in concert, or read her book, the experience always floors me. I’ve honestly never felt more acknowledged by an artist before.

Word on the apartment front is I don’t have a job so no one wants to rent to me. I applied for a place yesterday, but don’t have high hopes. As far as a job goes, I’m not having much luck with that either, though I do have an interview with another temp agency tomorrow.

In summary, I’m doing great extracurricular wise. If it was just my job to figure this city out and make friends I’d be acing life right now.

π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

 

 

What I’m all about

“Follow your passion until it becomes your career”.

Lilly Singh said something along those lines in one of her vlogs recently, and it just really sang to me.

Had to sit myself down the other day and have a real talk. My passion is out there, and once I find it I am prepared to hustle like there is no tomorrow. In the mean time though, I struggle with putting my all into something less than exciting. So, infusing passion into every facet of my life is a new goal for this year. Even in the most mundane of activities, joy and excitement can be found.

I went to a temp agency yesterday for an interview that went pretty terribly. At one point the interviewer asked me “What are you all about? What makes your heart happy?” I was completely thrown off by this question. I went into some blather about how I enjoy making people happy. Which is true, but it isn’t really my life’s jam ya know? So, what is it that makes my heart happy? Ain’t that the million dollar question? Stick with me here as I try to answer this for myself.

As an introvert, socializing can be exhausting. It can also be so invigorating when I’m in the right mood. Moving to L.A., I’ve really been excited to get involved in the different communities that exist here. This is what I’m passionate about, and it’s so random and kind of niche, that I have no clue how I’d make a job out of it. IΒ loveΒ planning meetups. Let me explain. I have a lot of random things I am obsessed with, be it Harry Potter, Orphan Black, Emilie Autumn, or Ball Joint Dolls. The first thing I did when I got here was connect with people in those fandoms. In fact, I’m helping head up an Orphan Black February meetup in the city. Here is what I like about meetups:

-they bringing people together
-they create wonderful community
-they provide a fun space to make friends
-they are a great place to find support from others dealing with similar issues (anxiety, loneliness, etc.) all while gathering around a common and fun interest

There we have it. I think that right there is my passion. I live for creating community, making friends, and providing a safe space for people (introverts and extroverts alike) to bond and support each other. Phew…glad we got that all figured out.

Now that I’ve identified my passion, it’s time to get down to business.

π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

Thoughts on Starbucks and other random things…

coffeeI’m sitting at the world’s fanciest Starbucks. It’s one of those new Starbucks Reserves. And check that out…yes to the left. It’s a free (well the drink cost $4) reusable cup that I didn’t even ask for they just gave me! How epic is that!? Welcome to L.A.

I worked at Starbucks in 2007 and again in 2015. I was taught that the company wants to be the customer’s “third place”. Meaning you have home, work, and then Starbucks. I understand and like the idea. I went to Hawaii last year by myself, and while I did try some of the local coffee shops, it just felt nice to go back to a Starbucks where I knew exactly what my drink was going to taste like. ItΒ isΒ home. And here I am again, in a city and state that isn’t home yet, and I’ve found a little corner where I feel consistency, stability, and comfort. Starbucks will always hold a special place in my heart ❀ I applied for a barista job at Starbucks yesterday. This really should have been my cover letter πŸ˜› But truly, those are my honest thoughts.

I haven’t heard anything from my potential apartment yet, though that hasn’t stopped me from daydreaming design themes and furniture placement. I can’t wait to go to Ikea! First things first is a bed. I’ve been sleeping on a roll up floor mattress for the last year, so it’s time for something more adult.

A side note on the mushy, sappy feelings I’m having right now: I am super lucky to have a family that is willing to help me in whatever dreams I may have. My parents have been lovely with moving all my stuff from my old apartment back into their house, letting me store all my random things in the garage, supplying me with some funds to get the trip started, and just the overall support. And my brother and his girlfriend, letting me stay in their apartment until I find something of my own is amazing. They arrive back in LA today, so I won’t beΒ allΒ alone now. It’s going to be nice to have the company, though I’m nervous to be in such tight quarters. I just don’t want myself or WillyBean to be a pain or encroaching on their territory. Which is why this apartment mustΒ willΒ work out. Nonetheless, I am so happy to have the space to settle right now.

I do apologize for the sporadic nature of this post. I really do struggle with sticking to a theme. Still trying to find my voice here. This blog will change and evolve with this manifested journey I’m creating, at least I hope.

Anyways, to all my 5 readers, I hope this morning is treating you well. May you move forward with inspiration and passion today! I will be striving for that myself.

-π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

P.S. If anyone knows how to fix this wordpress theme to better display my pictures, please don’t hold back. Shoot me an email: amyuncharted@gmail.com

 

New Apartment?

Everyone…that apartment I viewed yesterday was perfect. Okay, not perfect, but it has all the amenities I was looking for. The three C’s/K’s: Cat, Kitchen, Car. In other words, full kitchen (minus a fridge), WillyBean-approved living, and parking.

Here are some of the downsides: It’s kind ofΒ a basement apartment, so it’s a bit dark. I’ve been looking at some design options though and think it might be fun to work with. I’m not sure if it’s set up for cable/wifi, and there isn’t a refrigerator, but that’s an easy fix.

Now for the positives: It’s a 15 min walk from a bustling shopping area, lots of coffee shops, bars, and *drum roll* a FARMER’S MARKET! The fact that it’s so close to coffee shops may solve the no wifi issue. There is a walk in closet. I can access my apartment from the parking garage, meaning I don’t have to step foot on the street when it’s dark outside (one of my legit concerns). A stove and oven! After living off a hot plate all last year this is epic! It’s a HUGE studio apartment, biggest one I will have ever lived in. And ample space for a nice new cat tree for The Bean, who has suffered in miniature apartments without a tree since I’ve had him.

Here are some pics of the place…yeah the flooring is a bit funky too, but it gives it a little personality right?

*Can’t get this stupid picture to center…still figuring out this format theme.*

I also started applying for some jobs in the area. Most of them I’d be able to walk to, which would just be heaven for me. I love walking, especially when the weather is so nice.

So, now we just wait for my apartment application to be approved.

Oh yeah, side note: I parallel parked yesterday like a BAWSE. I think I’m getting the hang of this L.A. thing. Until next time…

-π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

 

Good Luck

I’ve been wearing all my talismans since I’ve been out here. I imagine them holding onto each positive and confident moment that I’ve had, storing all that energy for later use. My magical objects are mainly jewelry and t-shirts. 2 GirlLove rafikis (Click for info), a Grace Helbig/Goose rose gold necklace, Hannah Hart Reckless Optimism baseball tee, and rhodonite bracelet. There are several more, but those are my favorites at the moment. Anyone else have talismans they carry with them on a daily or as needed basis?

Today, after decorating myself in all my “lucky” objects, I set out for Target. The drive went well, and I’m starting to feel more sure of myself on the road. I then walked to The Coffee BeanΒ  & Tea Leaf to sit and apply for jobs. Yesterday, I submitted applications for Whole Foods and Michael’s. Today, it was Peet’s Coffee and Target. That makes a total of 17 jobs that I’ve applied for over the last couple of months. Something’s got to work out right?

Tomorrow, I’m viewing an apartment that I really hope works out. Fingers crossed and all that jazz.

-π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

 

 

When anxiety gets the best of you…

I skipped out on the interview today for several reasons, but the most important one was that I didn’t have any interview clothes. I tried to go shopping this morning at one of the big malls here, but I couldn’t find anything. Also, let me say, as someone whoΒ detestsΒ pushy sales people I could have really used some help. Here’s a tip if you don’t like to be pestered by employees at Nordstrom: Wear a beat up sweatshirt that you’ve worn and slept in for the last 3 days that has toothpaste stains on the sleeves. Pair it with faded (and not in the cool way) black jeans and $6 flats from Target. And there you have it folks, you have the whole store to shop in uninterrupted. Honestly though, I was quickly approaching anxiety tears. To avoid a scene in the middle of The Grove, I went back to my car. I was even desperate enough to stop at Ross and Kmart with my red blotchy face before heading home. Again, I came up with nothing.

I know I could have just gone to that interview with whatever I could have found on the racks, but I suck at half-assing things. If I don’t feel comfortable in the clothes I’m wearing, my already low self confidence would be the only thing anyone would see. And, if I’m being real with myself,Β maybe there was a bit of self sabotage going on. I was afraid of actuallyΒ getting the job. This isn’t a new thing, just something I’m continually working on.

I want to find the positives in today’s hiccup (I have to remind myself that’s all it was). I made it out of the apartment, drove to the mall and parked in a parking garage, wandered around stores that I didn’t feel the most comfortable in, drove back to the apartment, found a parking spot, and walked to a coffee shop. My anxiety self did a lot today.

Anyways, when I’m down, I like to watch Lilly Singh videos for inspiration. She constantly talks about hustling harder, being a Bawse, and putting everything into all you do. I’m going to take some of that advice now. I’m going to do my best Bawse impression for the rest of the day.

HUSTLIN’ TO DO LIST:
1. Apply to 2 jobs
2. Contact 2 apartments
3. Read 50 pages of my book

I’ll keep you posted on my progress. And, for the record, this blog won’t always be filled with my anxious ramblings. I do plan on creating daily themes and more participatory content. Thanks for reading in the meantime.

-π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

 

 

You have arrived!

To those who don’t know, I decided to pack up all my things and move on down to Los Angeles. Let me say, you haven’t really lived until you’ve driven 17 hours in 2 days, all while being serenaded by a very unhappy orange tabby cat, to the beats of the new Taylor Swift album.Β  Only when sweet, sweet Siri whispered those 3 magic words “You have arrived” was I able to take a deep breath and notice what had been around me for the last couple of hours. Glorious palm trees. That’s right, WillyBean and I survived the road trip. He was not a happy camper, and the kitty Xanax did nothing to ease his discomfort. I feel awful, but he is such a trooper and has already bounced back from the ordeal. And look! He still loves me!

bean

So…we’re here. And honestly I need a big kick in the ass to get myself out of my brother’s apartment (where I’m staying until I figure out life details). I’m feeling extremely fearful about driving and parking. This isn’t news to those who know me. Thus far I’ve traveled on foot to: 2 grocery stores, a 7-11, and a coffee shop, and by car: Target, and 2 potential apartments.

Tomorrow, I have a job interview as a barista at a coffee/chocolate shop. I’m not even nervous for the interview, just the drive to Beverly Hills. Oh yeah, and I also don’t have any interview clothes with me. Yikes!

Basically, I’m just lacking confidence right now. I have a friend, Ri, who is really good at dealing with my unsure feelings. She will excitedly yell different mantras and manifestations at me, until I join along or just start laughing. If she were here I imagine she’d shout in her sweet sing-songy voice: “I AM SMART! I AM A SAFE AND CONFIDENT DRIVER! I LOVE DRIVING! THE UNIVERSE LOVES ME! EVERYTHING IS WORKING IN MY FAVOR!”

I think meditation, positive affirmations, mantras, laughing, breathing, etc. all work. So here’s a tip from Amy Uncharted to myself and you today: Use the silence to regroup, to prepare yourself so you can step out into that unknown world with more peace. Yes, it’s all unknown and that’s okay. Tomorrow, let’s meditate.

–Β π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹

 

New Year Trifecta

That’s right friends! It’s a New Year Trifecta! A new week. A new month. And a new year. As someone who loves resolutions and new beginnings…well, I’m basically just spinning around in circles with my arms outstretched here! *cue confetti*

To all of those who have followed me over from my old blog, thank you! And hello to all the newcomers! This year is all about taking leaps of faith, following through with passion projects, putting myself out into the universe, taking up space, hustling harder, and reaping the benefits of a life fully realized.Β This blog is something I’m really proud of and happy to be creating, so I’m excited to be sharing it with you all!

Amy Uncharted stems from the idea that life is unpredictable. I have a hard time with that. I don’t particularly enjoy the unknown, but Amy Uncharted does well there. This blog is where I will continually push myself to live a life without restraints or fear. The title of this blog was inspired by the song “Uncharted” by Sara Bareilles. It is one that has carried me through so many strange and unknown times.

And now, I’d like to leave you with a definition of Amy Uncharted, what she means to me, and what I’m creating for myself:

“SheΒ is loving. She is inspired,Β radiant, and passionate. Fearless and funny, she leaps into adventure. She experiments, dares to dream, and laughs when she falls. Above all, she revels in the unknown, lives among the questions, and thrives in a universe so wonderfully unpredictable.”

So, with that, raise your champagne flutes everyone! To manifesting great adventures and exploring uncharted territories! Happy New Year!

–Β π’œπ“‚π“Ž 𝒰𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹